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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26695552">As The World Caves In</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kvniimi/pseuds/kvniimi'>kvniimi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Heartbreak, Hospitalization, Hospitals, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, haikyuu angst, iwaoi - Freeform, iwaoi angst, parents fighting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:00:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26695552</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kvniimi/pseuds/kvniimi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Hajime didn't realize his feelings for his best friend Oikawa Tooru, until he was hospitalized after collapsing in the kitchen.<br/>Both of their lives changed completely after that, in good and bad ways.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>As The World Caves In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>!!TW!! MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, SUICIDE </p><p>Hi! This is my first even fanfiction I've published somewhere, so if you're reading this, thank you for your time! I'll probably upload more in the future so stay tuned:)<br/>Also, English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any (grammatical) mistakes, I tried my best lmao</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>It was since the first moment Iwaizumi met him. His brown hair swept sideways and brown eyes sparkling when he scored a point. They basically grew up together, and witnessed each other’s growth, both physically and in volleyball, as they both entered Kitagawa Daiichi, and eventually Aoba Johsai High. He watched him win the Best Setter Award, after they lost to Shiratorizawa. He’s known him for his whole life, but ever since they became third years in Aoba Johsai High, he started developing feelings for him.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> The jealousy when he was surrounded by fangirls, even worse when one of them complimented him non-stop. His heart fluttering a little when he heard his voice, and it skipped a beat every time he called him ‘Iwa-chan’, even though it was embarrassing. He didn’t understand why he felt this way, because on the other hand, Oikawa was the biggest asshole. Not only to others, but to him too. Not to say Iwaizumi was the nicest. He called him names that weren’t so nice either. But I guess you could say he liked him just for the way he was, even if that could be awful sometimes. And gosh he found him beautiful, probably the most beautiful guy he had ever met. But he didn’t understand his feelings, and that’s what frustrated him so much. </strong>
</p><p>---</p><p>“Iwa-chan! You played really well!” shouted Oikawa in his direction while he ran towards him. His heart made a little jump. God damn it, what is this feeling when he compliments him? And what makes it more annoying, he does it all the time. “Thanks, Shittykawa.” “Mean, Iwa! Why are you always so mean?” “I’m sorry. You played great too.” They didn’t say a word to eachother when they walked towards the changing rooms, but somehow they just enjoyed each other’s company.</p><p>After changing they both walked home together.</p><p>“Hey, Oikawa, can I stay at yours tonight? My parents are fighting again, and they yell so loud I can’t sleep most of the time...”</p><p>He looked at Iwaizumi. “Of course, you don’t have to ask, you can always stay at mine. My parents are away this weekend, so if you need to stay any longer you can, I don’t mind.” Iwaizumi gave him a weak smile.</p><p>“Thank you. I’ll go to my place real quick to get my stuff, and then I’ll head to yours. Should I bring some snacks and DVD’s so we can have a movie night?”</p><p>Oikawa’s eyes lit up. Iwaizumi knew how much he liked movie night, and to be honest, he liked them too. “Ohh yes, can you bring Disney movies?” he asked. “Disney is for kids, Oikawa.” Oikawa looked at him with pleading eyes. “Please? I’ll make you popcorn, with caramel, the one you like so much!” Iwaizumi smiled. ”Alright, alright, but we’re also going to watch something I like then.” “Okay~”</p><p>When Iwaizumi opened his front door, he could already hear his dad yelling in the living room. He could’ve guessed it, it’s always his dad, and that’s why he hates his dad. His mom is not the type to do something, she just quietly listens to the ton of insults that come out of his dad’s mouth. Iwaizumi wished his mother stood up for herself more, because of this, she never says a word to him anymore, even though they supposed to have such a strong bond. He just ignores it and goes straight upstairs to his room to pack his stuff. His parents don’t need to know he’s here; they don’t even care about where he is anymore. They probably didn’t even hear him come inside over the sound of yelling.</p><p>Iwaizumi felt relieved when he closed the front door behind him, he could finally forget about all this for a little while he stayed at his best friend’s house. He felt excitement to see him again, which confused him as always.</p><p>
  <em>Could he be in love? No! In love with his boy best friend he’s known for so long? No, it couldn’t be.</em>
</p><p>When he arrived at Oikawa’s house, he didn’t even have to knock, because the door already swung open. “The popcorn is already done, so we can settle everything immediately!” his friend said excitingly. Iwaizumi grinned. “You have everything planned, as always.” He walked inside and hung his jacket on the coat rack.</p><p>He looked into Oikawa’s direction. “What movie do you want to watch first?” “Do you still need to ask? Tangled of course!” He laughed. He didn’t even need to ask, indeed. They always watched that movie when they were younger, and he kept the DVD just so he and Oikawa could watch it over and over again. Not going to lie, he started liking it a lot, too.</p><p>Iwaizumi went upstairs to Oikawa’s room. When he entered into Oikawa’s room, his eyes grew wide. Oikawa made a whole blanket and pillow fort, with led lights, candles, and a lot of snacks. “Do you like the setting?” he heard from behind him. He felt his cheeks heat up and looked at his friend. “Actually, yes, it’s really cozy.” Oikawa smiled widely. “I’m glad you like it, how about we start the movie then?”</p><p>After they finish Tangled, Oikawa starts up Netflix. “Here, now you can choose a movie.” Iwaizumi looks at him. “Close your eyes, it’s a surprise what we’re going to watch next.” “Ugh, fine, but nothing weird okay?” Iwa smirks. “You’ll see…” “Stop teasing me and pick a movie already!” Oikawa says while closing his eyes. While grinning widely, Iwaizumi looks up the movie The Conjuring. He knows Oikawa hates scary things, so he decided to give him a little scare. He clicks play.</p><p>“Okay, you can look now!” His friend opens his eyes. “Seriously?! Out of all the movies you could choose you pick a horror movie? You know how much I hate those!” “That’s right. Don’t worry, if you’re scared you can hold onto me” Iwaizumi said jokingly.</p><p>They’re not even halfway into the movie and Iwaizumi can already see on the look on Oikawa’s face that he is scared as hell, even though he tries so hard to hide it. “Are you scared?” he asks his friend, already knowing the answer. “N-no..! Why would you think that?” He laughs. “I can see it on the look on your face, idiot.” His friend doesn’t say anything and just looked away embarrassed.</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, it’s okay, you can lay besides me if you’re scared.”</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi didn’t realize his own words until he finished his sentence. What the fuck did he just say? His friend looked at him. “Really? Are you sure..?” “Y-yeah… come here, idiot.” He pulled his friend into a hug. Soon enough Oikawa fell asleep in his arms. Iwaizumi’s heart was beating out of his chest. But he didn’t mind. The only thing on his mind was Oikawa. When the movie ended, he also fell asleep, with a smile on his face.</p><p>When he woke up the next morning, Iwaizumi felt something heavy laying on top of him. Confused, he opened his eyes, when he suddenly remembers everything from the night before.</p><p><em>‘Fuck,</em> he thinks to himself. <em>‘Fuck, fuck, fuck! Do I have feelings for him or something? No, that’s stupid, I’ve never liked a boy before. Could he be the first? What the hell, no, what am I thinking?’</em></p><p>He’s so deep in thought that he doesn’t realize Oikawa already woke up.</p><p>“Iwa-chan! Good morning!”</p><p>He doesn’t respond.</p><p>“Is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>He looks up. “No! No, I’m okay, I was just deep in thoughts, nothing special.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m sure.”</p><p>Oikawa came out of bed and stood up. He knew his best friend wasn’t telling the truth, but he decided not to ask any further about it. “I’m going to make breakfast, you coming?” Iwa stood up. “Sure, I can make something for us if you want.” “No! You’re my guest, I’m going to cook.” “You’re a terrible cook.” “Mean Iwa-chan! Did you ever taste one of my recipes?” “Yeah, it was terrible.” “That was last year, I’ve improved a lot!” “If you say so.”</p><p>His friend went into the kitchen to get the things he needed. “Are you okay with some fried eggs?” Iwaizumi laughed.</p><p>“Sure, just make sure you don’t burn the house down.”</p><p>“Hey! I know how to fry an egg!”</p><p>“Last year you didn’t.”</p><p>“That was last year, not now! Now shut up, I’ll make you the best fried eggs you ever tasted!”</p><p>“Good luck, I’m a picky eater~” Iwaizumi said teasingly. Oikawa grinned. “Hmm sure… I’ll start cooking.” “Alright, I’m going to the living room to do a little schoolwork, good luck trying to please me with your meal.” “Tch, at least I make time to fry eggs for you, Iwa-chan.”</p><p>20 minutes passed and Iwaizumi finished his work. He was surprised that the food wasn’t done yet. “Oikawa, did you burn the food again?”</p><p>He didn’t get an answer.</p><p>“Come on, just admit it, your burned it. I told you! You’re a terrible cook.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>Then Iwaizumi realized he still heard a sound in the kitchen, coming from the stove.</p><p>“Oikawa?”</p><p>Still no answer. He got a little worried and decided to take a look in the kitchen.</p><p>“Oikawa why didn’t you… OIKAWA!!”</p><p>---</p><p>“119, what is your emergency?”</p><p>“I- I… My friend..! He- He…”</p><p>“Sir, please calm down, and tell me what happened.”</p><p>“I-It’s my friend… H-He… I found him lying on the floor… Looks like h-he c-collapsed or something… Please help I- I don’t know what to do… What if he’s going to die..!”</p><p>“Okay, can you still feel his pulse?”</p><p>“Y-Yes, but it’s really slow and I barely feel it, so I need help as soon as possible! Please…”</p><p>“An ambulance is on the way, sir. Please stay with the victim until we get to the address.”</p><p>---</p><p>“Oikawa! You’re awake!” Iwaizumi felt his heart jump when he saw his friend opening his eyes. “Where am I?” he heard him ask, clearly in shock. “You’re at the hospital, you collapsed in the kitchen a few hours ago. I called an ambulance because I could barely feel your pulse.”</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t remember anything.” </em>
</p><p>They both went silent.</p><p>“I’m going to get a doctor, stay where you are, okay?”</p><p>Iwa rushed into the hallway, looking for the nearest doctor. “Ma’am! My friend is awake! He’s in room 153.” A blonde woman, probably in her early 30s, turned around. “Hi, may I ask for his name?” “Oikawa Tooru.” “Ah, I took care of him earlier today, too. I’ll come with you.”</p><p>They walked back to the hospital room, where Oikawa was. Iwaizumi took a seat in the chair he sat in this afternoon. The doctor examined him for a bit. “It’s great that he’s conscious again, that quite early for someone with this condi-“</p><p>“CONDITION?!”</p><p>Iwaizumi stood up abruptly, only to sit back down again. “I’m sorry. What kind of condition are you talking about?”</p><p>“Oh, right, I didn’t tell you yet...”</p><p>She paused for a second before continuing her sentence.</p><p>
  <em>“</em>
  <em>Your friend has quite a rare heart disease… and I don’t think there’s a cure to help him. He probably won’t live longer than 3 months. I’m really sorry.”</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi felt like his heart dropped.</p><p>
  <em>Heart disease? No cure? He won’t live longer than 3 months? </em>
</p><p>He felt his whole world collapse. Tears filled his eyes, and soon enough he felt them run over his cheeks.</p><p>“N-No… T-This can’t be true…”</p><p>“I hate to break it to you, sir, but unfortunately what I just said is true. And there’s also a chance he will suffer from memory loss, because he fell on the floor quite hard.”</p><p>Those words made him feel even worse. Without thinking properly, he rushed to his friend’s bed.</p><p>“Oikawa? How are you feeling right now?”</p><p>His friend looked at him, confused.</p><p>
  <em>“Who are you?” </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>Iwaizumi just stood there. He stared at his friend while tears welled up in his eyes again. “Y-You don’t remember..?” Oikawa still had the same confused look on his face. “No, I’m sorry. Can you maybe introduce yourself?”</p><p>“I-I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, I used to be your best friend… We’ve known each other for a very long time, we also play volleyball together. Well, played, because I don’t think you’ll be able to play again.”</p><p>His friend looked excited.</p><p>“We played volleyball? That’s amazing! What position did we play?”</p><p>“You were setter and team captain, and you were really good at serving, too. I am the ace, vice-captain and wing spiker.”</p><p>“I was captain?! That’s so cool! Was I good?”</p><p>“Well… of course, you wouldn’t be captain if you sucked at volleyball. Back in middle school, you won best setter award.”</p><p>“Really? Can you bring it next time you visit?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>They looked at eachother. Even though his friend was sick, Iwaizumi could still see his eyes sparkling from happiness, which made him smile too. “Why are you suddenly smiling?” “Oh, nothing special…” “Aw, come on, I can see you’re smiling for a reason.”</p><p>
  <em>“Your eyes are really pretty, you know.”</em>
</p><p>His friend looked at him surprised.</p><p>“My… eyes?”</p><p>“Yes… When you’re happy, they sparkle, and it looks really beautiful… Did I say too much?”</p><p>“No, it’s fine… I really appreciate it… even though I don’t remember you, you seem like a really kind person…”</p><p>Iwaizumi’s eyes grew wide and he started blushing.</p><p>“Why are you blushing?”</p><p>“N-Nothing special, it’s just quite hot in here…”</p><p>“Haha, really funny, it’s the middle of winter.”</p><p>“Shut up! I really appreciated the things you said to me, okay?”</p><p>They both went silent again. It felt just like the old times. They didn’t have to say anything, just having each other’s company was enough.</p><p>---</p><p>A few weeks passed, and Iwaizumi kept visiting Oikawa in the hospital every day. He brought his friend’s award the second day, and since then he kept it in his hospital room. It’s actually quite sad when you think about it, he doesn’t even remember his own award he was so proud of.</p><p>Unfortunately, Oikawa’s health wasn’t going in the right direction. He couldn’t eat by himself, so he gets his food through a probe. Talking goes well, but he doesn’t remember much when it comes to names and numbers. He can still walk by himself, but he faints easily, so he always has to walk with someone when he needs something or wants to go somewhere. That’s also one of the reasons Iwaizumi’s always there, because Oikawa’s parents are never home.</p><p>They probably don’t even care their son’s in the hospital, they are too busy with themselves, it’s always been like that with Oikawa’s parents since they have their own business. They are on business trips 90% of the time, and when they are not away, they are working from home.</p><p>The fact his best friend is in the hospital doesn’t do well with Iwaizumi either. He doesn’t do well at school and during volleyball practice and he is constantly stressed. His teammates noticed this as well, and since he is the vice-captain, everyone sees him as the captain now.</p><p>His teammates Hanamaki and Matsukawa offered to talk to him, but he refused. He can’t talk to anyone else than Oikawa about how he feels, but Oikawa’s difficult to talk to, so he just bottles up his thoughts and feelings. He knows it’s not healthy to bottle up feelings, but he has no one to tell his feelings to.</p><p>When he arrives at the hospital for the umpteenth time this week, he noticed Oikawa became thinner. “Ma’am, may I ask how much he weighs?”</p><p>“114,2 lbs, he lost a lot of weight because it’s difficult for him to eat and he does nothing besides lying in bed.”</p><p>His eyes grew wide.</p><p>
  <em>114,2 pounds. He lost 45 fucking pounds since the first time I came here, and it’s only been a few weeks. And the worst thing is that I didn’t even realize it until today. If things keep going like this, he’s not going to last long… </em>
</p><p><em>‘Stop thinking that,</em> Iwaizumi thinks to himself,<em> ‘he’ll probably live for a few months, maybe they’ll find a cure and a miracle will happen, I shouldn’t give up my hopes yet.’</em></p><p>The following day, Iwaizumi went to the hospital again. When he stood in front of Oikawa’s room, he heard talking inside. Confused, he opened the door, to see Hanamaki and Matsukawa standing next to his friend’s bed.</p><p>“Oh, hey Iwa. We heard Oikawa’s allowed to have more visitors, so we decided to pay him a visit.”</p><p>He didn’t say anything. He didn’t really want to speak to his teammates right now, but this time he couldn’t get out of it. He decided to take a seat in the corner of the room.</p><p>“How is he doing, Iwa?” Makki asked.</p><p>He remained silent.</p><p>“Yo, Iwa, you can’t just sit there doing nothing the whole time you know.”</p><p>“Sorry, I just don’t really know how to answer. But he’s not been doing well the past days, he lost 45 pounds since the day he got here, and it’s only been a few weeks.”</p><p>He saw the eyes of his teammates grow wide. Then Matsukawa lost it.</p><p>“45 POUNDS? WHAT THE FUCK!”</p><p>He immediately went silent again after he realized how loud he said that.</p><p>“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I hope I didn’t wake him up.”</p><p>Hanamaki looked at the time. “We should get going, my mom will kill me if I get home late.” “Yeah same, bye Iwaizumi, see you tomorrow.”</p><p>---</p><p>When Matsukawa and Hanamaki left, Iwaizumi noticed his friend woke up.</p><p>“Hi… What was your name again?”</p><p>“Iwaizumi. But you used to call me Iwa-chan all the time, so if that’s easier to remember for you, that’s okay.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll call you Iwa-chan from now on.”</p><p>He saw his friend’s beautiful eyes sparkling again.</p><p>“Hey, I actually wanted you to listen to something. <em>It reminded me of you.</em>”</p><p>Iwaizumi took his earbuds out of his pocket. His friend sat straight up. “Ouch, my head, it hurts.” “Probably from all the medicine. Here, put one in your ear.” Iwaizumi gave one earbud to Oikawa while he looked up the song in his Spotify.</p><p>
  <em>‘As The World Caves In’ by Matt Maltese.</em>
</p><p>He’d been listening to it on repeat for the past few days, and for some reason it reminded him of his best friend. His best friend he loved so much. He clicked play. After a minute of listening, Oikawa spoke.</p><p>
  <em>“It’s a beautiful song, Iwa-chan.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Beautiful just like you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is that why it reminds you of me?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Maybe.” </em>
</p><p>They stared at eachother. Again, Iwaizumi saw the same sparkle in Oikawa’s eyes.</p><p>“Are you happy I visit you every day?”</p><p>“Well… actually yes, I love it when you come visit me. You’re a really handsome and caring guy, actually.”</p><p>Iwaizumi felt his face heat up again. He scratched his head. For some reason, he suddenly felt nervous.</p><p>“I- Thank you… I really appreciate what you said to me… I’m going to be honest, you’re really beautiful… Probably the most beautiful person I’ve ever met-“</p><p>“R-Really..?”</p><p>“Yes. And I’m very careful with words and use them wisely, so feel honored that you get to hear these words.”</p><p>His friend smiled.</p><p>
  <em>“I am. And I won’t forget the words you said to me.” </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>A few days had passed and Oikawa seemed to get a little better. He still can’t walk without someone keeping him company, but his memory is improving. Iwaizumi taught him the names of their teammates, so when he sees them, he can call them by their names. And surprisingly, he memorized Iwaizumi’s full name too. Only the thought of this made Iwaizumi smile. The fact his friend was making progress meant a lot for him.</p><p>But unfortunately, this happy feeling only lasted for a few days. Oikawa’s heart wasn’t doing quite well, and the doctors were afraid that if his condition worsened, he might need a heart donor, which isn’t so easy to find. Besides that, the surgery is very risky and there’s a big chance the patient will die eventually.</p><p>When Iwaizumi heard this news, he didn’t know how fast he had to rush to the hospital. When he arrived, he sprinted up the stairs to the first floor and made his way to Oikawa’s room.</p><p>“Oi-“</p><p>He wanted to call for his name but stopped when he realized his friend was sleeping. Afraid to wake him up, he slowly took a seat in the chair next to the hospital bed. He looked at the brown-haired boy and felt his heart flutter. He looked beautiful. He never thought someone could look that beautiful while they were asleep. His cheeks heated up. After staring for a few minutes, he spoke, whispering.</p><p>
  <em>“I never thought I’d be able to meet such a beautiful and amazing person like you, Oikawa. I’m only going to say this once so listen carefully.” </em>
</p><p>He paused for a second.</p><p>
  <em>“I love you, Tooru.” </em>
</p><p>He went silent again. The only sounds in the room were the heart monitors every few seconds. But he didn’t mind. He grabbed his friend’s hand and squeezed it softly. “I won’t leave you, Tooru.” Iwaizumi stayed until late in the evening to look after Oikawa. His friend didn’t wake up, so he didn’t really have anything to worry about. The nurses checked on him once in a while to see if his heart was still functioning well enough to keep him alive. Iwaizumi hoped with all his heart they would find a donor soon, so everything could be normal again.</p><p>
  <em>Just normal… </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>The next day he visited the hospital again. This time, Oikawa was awake. But when Iwaizumi walked into the room, he barely recognized him. He had big, dark bags under his eyes and his skin looked pale. He also had a scared look in his eyes.</p><p>“Hey, Oikawa, are you okay?”</p><p>His friend said nothing. Iwaizumi took a seat and grabbed his hand. It felt cold, yet a warm feeling entered his body. Oikawa looked at him with a weak smile and he quietly spoke, with a lot of difficulty.</p><p>“I-I… c-couldn’t sleep… N-Nightmare-“</p><p>“What was the nightmare about?”</p><p>Oikawa stayed silent for a minute, as if he was trying to remember what he dreamed about.</p><p><em>“I… I dreamed t-that I d-died… B-But not b-because of my d-disease… I… I died b-because…”</em> Tears started welling up in his eyes. As if he didn’t want to finish his sentence because it was breaking him inside.</p><p>
  <em>“…because I couldn’t live without y-you…” </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi’s eyes grew wide. He felt himself starting to blush from ear to ear.</p><p>
  <em>“Are you… b-blushing?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I- Uh…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I can… see i-it, idiot. My eyes s-still wor…work you know.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Fine! Yes, I’m blushing, what do you want me to do about it?” </em>
</p><p>Oikawa chuckled lightly. “You… You’re s-such a cutie, I’d n-never t-think that o...of you, Iwa-chan.”</p><p>Another warm feeling raced through Iwaizumi’s body.</p><p>And then he realized.</p><p>Something he didn’t want to realize</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was in love with his best friend. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But his best friend was dying. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>The past few days Iwaizumi spent most of his time at the hospital. He didn’t want to go home because his parents were fighting as usual, so he explained his situation to the nurses, and they told him he could stay. Besides that, he also wanted to keep his friend company. He really loved being around him, even though he didn’t speak much because of his condition.</p><p>As long as he could see his beautiful face and sparkling eyes, Iwaizumi was happy.</p><p> </p><p>Iwaizumi was listening to music while Oikawa was asleep. He did this most of the time, to empty his head from all the thoughts and feelings he had to deal with for the past few weeks. He had “As The World Caves In” on repeat, because it reminded him of his best friend, and he sang along quietly. Because he was wearing earbuds and quietly singing along, he didn’t realize Oikawa woke up.</p><p>The brown-haired boy sat up, confused by the sudden singing he heard. He looked besides him and saw his friend quietly murmuring the text his favourite song, and he listened for a while before he decided to say something.</p><p>
  <em>“Y-Your sing…singing is g-good… I-Iwa-chan…” </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi looked up, startled. “Oikawa? How long have you been listening?!”</p><p>“No-Not that l-long…”</p><p>Iwaizumi looked away, embarrassed.</p><p>“D-Don’t be e-emb…embarrassed… i-it actually sounded r…really good- “</p><p>He looked back at his friend again. He knew Oikawa always spoke the truth, even though it was harsh sometimes. He looked into Oikawa’s eyes. He really meant what he said.</p><p>
  <em>“Thank you, Tooru…”</em>
</p><p>He saw Oikawa’s eyes sparkle a little.</p><p>“Y-You c-called me… b-by my fi…first name...?”</p><p>“Yes. Yes, I did.”</p><p>Oikawa didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Did it make you uncomfortable? I won’t do it again if it did…- “</p><p>“N-No! Ab…absolutely n-not…”</p><p>“Then why are you so surprised?”</p><p>His friend went silent again.</p><p>“If you don’t want to say it it’s fine…- “</p><p>Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi.</p><p>
  <em>“I-It’s just… no…no one e-ever called me b-by my f-first name… D-Do I mean tha…that much to y-you?” </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi wanted to say something. He wanted to say a lot of things. But he just couldn’t seem to get the words out of his mouth. Instead of talking, he leaned over to his best friend and looked him deep into his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Those beautiful sparkling eyes… </em>
</p><p>And before Iwaizumi knew it…</p><p>
  <em>His lips were pressed against Oikawa’s. </em>
</p><p>It felt soft and warm. Oikawa didn’t seem to mind it, as he went along with the kiss. Iwaizumi wished this moment could last forever.</p><p>This warm and happy feeling…</p><p>But eventually they had to gasp for air and Oikawa pulled away. He looked back at Iwaizumi. His face was red and a bit sweaty. It was the most beautiful sight Iwaizumi had ever seen. They looked into each other’s eyes again.</p><p>
  <em>And pressed their lips against each other’s for the second time. </em>
</p><p>It was passionate, yet gentle. Iwaizumi tilted his head a little. Oikawa’s lips felt soft, even though the rest of his skin was bone dry. It was one of the best feelings Iwaizumi ever experienced.</p><p>When they pulled away for the second time, Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi</p><p>“Why… why d-did you do t-that...? N-Not t-that it made me…me u-uncomfortable… I-I’m just c-curious…”</p><p>Iwaizumi smiled weakly.</p><p>“I did it… <em>because I love you, Tooru</em>.”</p><p>He paused and looked Oikawa into his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>“And I think I love you more than as a friend... So that is why I kissed you, because I still can now, now that you’re still here… alive…” </em>
</p><p>They both went silent for a few minutes and didn’t look at eachother. Until Oikawa spoke.</p><p>
  <em>“The f-fact I c-can’t re…remember you… d-doesn’t mean y-you don’t m-mean anything to me…” </em>
</p><p>He paused, as if he was trying to find the right words.</p><p>
  <em>“Y-You… you actually s-started to mean a l-lot t-to me, too… in this s-short p-period of time w-we spent t-together…” </em>
</p><p>Oikawa went silent again. But Iwaizumi noticed he still wanted to say something.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I l-love you… t-too… Iwa…ch-chan.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Iwaizumi’s eyes grew big. His heart was racing. He could feel it beating in his throat. He wanted to say something. He wanted to ask why. He opened his mouth to say something. But he couldn’t. The words didn’t come out of his mouth.</p><p>“A-Are… are you o-okay...?”</p><p>He nodded. He felt himself blush from ear to ear. He thought this was enough for Oikawa to realize he didn’t know what to say. Oikawa showed a weak smile.</p><p>“Alright… I-I didn’t make you u-uncomfortable… did I…?” Iwaizumi shook his head abruptly.</p><p>“No… not at all. To be honest… I liked it…”</p><p>
  <em>“I…- M-Me too…” </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>A week passed after the night Iwaizumi told Oikawa about his feelings. He still didn’t really know how to handle it, but besides that he still loved spending his time with Oikawa. He probably loved it even more after what happened that night. Every time they looked at each other, they’d blush and chuckle.</p><p>“You’re cute, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa would say, and Iwaizumi would smile and tell him the same. He was glad Oikawa could still talk, so he could still hear his voice, although it was very difficult for him.</p><p>After his practice he went to the hospital to visit his friend again. When he entered the room, he saw Oikawa was awake.</p><p>“Good m-morning…”</p><p>“It’s 4pm, Oikawa. Did you just wake up?”</p><p>“Uh… y-yeah.”</p><p>Iwaizumi laughed. “Sleepy head. Do you want to watch Tangled?”</p><p>“O-Oh, yeah… s…sure…! I’d l-love to…”</p><p>“Okay, I think I put the DVD in a drawer somewhere, I’ll see if I can find it.” Iwaizumi walked up to the dresser and looked in the drawers. Ah, there it was. He picked it out of the drawer. “I found it. Can you reach the remote and turn on the TV?”</p><p>“S-Sure.”</p><p>Iwaizumi walked up to the TV. “Can I start the movie?” he asked. “Mhm.” Iwaizumi pressed play and walked back to his seat.</p><p>
  <em>“Iwa… Y-You can lay be…besides me i-if you want…” </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi looked Oikawa’s way. “You sure? I don’t want to hurt you…”</p><p>“I-It’s fine… The…There’s enough s-space for t-two people…”</p><p>Carefully, Iwaizumi laid down beside him.</p><p>“I-I’m c-cold…” He heard his friend whispering under his breath.</p><p>
  <em>“Come here then.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What…?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Come here.” </em>
</p><p>He wrapped his arms around him. He felt Oikawa’s cold skin against his. Oikawa immediately relaxed and lay his head on Iwaizumi’s chest.</p><p>
  <em>“You-You feel… warm…” </em>
</p><p>They laid like this for the entire time. Halfway into the movie, Iwaizumi felt Oikawa’s breathing slow down. He looked besides him, and saw that Oikawa fell asleep again. He sighed. <em>He must’ve been tired</em>, he thought to himself. Which he could understand, it must be tiring living with such a horrible disease.</p><p>When the movie ended, Oikawa suddenly sat up. He was sweating and breathing heavily.</p><p>“Tooru?! Are you okay?”</p><p>When Oikawa heard Iwaizumi’s voice, he seemed to calm down a little bit.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry… Night-Nightmare… You’re… s-still here, a-aren’t you…? I’m n-not ha-hallucinating, a-am I?”</p><p>“No, Tooru, don’t worry, I won’t leave you. Do you want me to stay here, lying next to you?”</p><p>“I-If you’re not un-uncomfortable… I’d really… a-appreciate i-it…”</p><p>“Alright. <em>Remember, I’ll never leave you.</em>” Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa, and he relaxed in his arms.</p><p>“T-Thank you…”</p><p>But Oikawa couldn’t fall asleep. Iwaizumi knew his friend well and realized something was off about his behaviour. He was very quiet, he usually had something to say about a random subject.</p><p>“Something wrong, Oikawa?”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“You can tell me, I won’t judge you.”</p><p>
  <em>“It’s just… I-I… really like y-you… no… l-love you, Iwa-chan. A-And I wished I… could be your b-boyfriend. But… I’m d-dying… I won’t l-live for mo…more t-than fuck…fucking 2 m-months. So… I-I don’t want t-to make it… of…official… It’ll only h-hurt you more…”</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi turned around and looked Oikawa into his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>“Tooru…” </em>
</p><p>He paused for a second.</p><p>
  <em>“I… feel the same way. And I don’t care if it’ll hurt me more. Now we’re still able to date since you’re still alive, and you’re doing fine, the only thing we have to worry about is you getting a heart donor in time. And your talking is quite messed up, but if you get better, that can be fixed. I just love you so much, Tooru, and I want to spend my time with you when I’m still able to…”</em>
</p><p>It was silent again. Until Iwaizumi heard quiet sobbing.</p><p>“Oikawa… are you crying…?”</p><p>“N-No…! Why would y-you-”</p><p>Oikawa was cut off by Iwaizumi suddenly kissing him. When they pulled away, Iwaizumi wiped Oikawa’s tears, and he looked away, blushing heavily.</p><p>“Something wrong, Oikawa?”</p><p>He didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Hey, Tooru… it’s okay…”</p><p>Oikawa looked up, tears still streaming down his face. Iwaizumi felt bad. So bad. Why did it have to be him? The love of his life, well, the love of his life for 2 months maximum. He looked away as well, not knowing how to deal with the situation.</p><p>“… I-If it r-really doesn’t m-matter to you… that… I-I only have t-two mo…months to live…”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“Tooru?”</p><p>Oikawa didn’t finish his sentence. Iwaizumi turned his head, to see his friend passed out and with a pale face.</p><p>He checked the heart monitor. It went slow.</p><p>He checked his pulse… Also slow.</p><p>
  <em>Too slow… </em>
</p><p>“TOORU?!”</p><p>No answer.</p><p>Iwaizumi rushed out of his friend’s room to look for a doctor. He saw the nurse who helped him since day one. “Miss! It’s Oikawa… I-I think he passed out… and his heart race and pulse are very slow too… please help!”</p><p>---</p><p>A few hours later, Iwaizumi decided to check up on Oikawa to see if he was awake. While he was walking through the halls, deep in thought, he heard someone call his name. He looked up to see Kunimi and Kindaichi standing in the middle of the hallway, Kindaichi waving in his direction.</p><p>“Iwaizumi, hey!”</p><p>Iwaizumi nodded in response.</p><p>“We wanted to come and visit Oikawa today, is that okay?” Iwaizumi frowned. “I’m not quite sure. He passed out a few hours ago, and I was just going to check up on him to see if he is awake, so I’m not sure if he’s allowed to have more visitors. I’ll go and check on him for a second. You can follow me to his hospital room.”</p><p>To his surprise, Oikawa was already awake. He was lying curled up in his hospital bed, but Iwaizumi knew he was awake.</p><p>“Oikawa?”</p><p>He didn’t get an answer. He walked up to his bed.</p><p>“Are you okay? What happened?”</p><p>Oikawa slipped him a note.</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry. I’m completely mute, I can’t talk anymore…</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi looked him in the eyes. He saw tears welling up in Oikawa’s eyes, and pulled him into a hug.</p><p>“It’s okay. I love you. <em>I’ll always love you</em>.”</p><p>Oikawa buried his face into Iwaizumi’s chest and soon enough started crying, and Iwaizumi also had trouble holding back his tears. He hated seeing Oikawa cry. It hurt him a lot to see him like that. He hated to say this, because he knew it wasn’t true, but he needed a way to comfort him.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay, Tooru.”</p><p>Oikawa looked at him and made a gesture with his hand. “You want the notepad?” Iwaizumi asked. He nodded, and Iwaizumi handed him the notepad. Oikawa wrote something on it.</p><p>
  <em>You’re only saying this to make me feel better, aren’t you?</em>
</p><p>“You know I’m not really good at comforting people.”</p><p>
  <em>It’s okay. I’m already glad you’re here with me. </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi smiled weakly. “Hey, Kunimi and Kindaichi, your old teammates, are in the hallway waiting, is it okay if they come in to visit you for a bit?”</p><p>
  <em>Sure. </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi stood up and walked in the direction of the door. When he opened it, he only saw Kindaichi standing there. “Where’s Kunimi?” he asked. “He’s going to the restroom, but I told him the room number, so he’ll be back in a minute.”</p><p>Kindaichi’s eyes grew wide as soon as he saw Oikawa. “Oh my…” were the only words he could get out of his mouth. “He’s changed a lot, huh?” Iwaizumi spoke. Kindaichi nodded. “He’s lost more than 45 pounds since the first day he got here.” “45 pounds?! Oh, fuck…”</p><p>They both went silent for a minute, until the door opened behind them, and Kunimi and the nurse stood in the doorway. “How’s it going here? Oikawa’s already awake, I see,” the nurse said, walking Oikawa’s direction.</p><p>“Miss! May I ask what exactly happened with him?” Iwaizumi asked before the nurse could reach the bed. The nurse sighed.</p><p>“Well, with his disease also comes another rare condition, which causes him to pass out when his emotions get too overwhelming. I’m not completely sure, but I think that’s also the reason why he lost his ability to speak. His memory loss also became worse, he can’t remember names properly, I think he only remembers yours because you’re always around him.”</p><p>“Oh, I see. Thank you for explaining.”</p><p>Iwaizumi didn’t say anything more, until he heard his phone ringing. He took it out of his pocket, to see Kageyama’s number on the display. He swiped right to answer.</p><p>
  <em>“Hey Kageyama, what’s the matter?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hi, Iwa. Is it true that Oikawa’s in the hospital?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, he has been for a month now. What about it?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hinata really wants to come visit him some time, is he allowed to have visitors?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, but only a maximum of three at a time. Kunimi and Kindaichi are here at the moment, so maybe you two could come somewhere next week?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“</em>
  <em>Sure, we’re free on Thursday, do you think that’s fine?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I think so, I mean it’s not busy over here so we’re always free in principle.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kay, see you next week then.” </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi hung up. He didn’t expect Kageyama to come visit his old teammate, because they never really liked each other. Well, Hinata really looked up to Oikawa, and Kageyama is quite overprotective when it comes to Hinata, so it’s quite obvious he wanted to come with Hinata. Iwaizumi sighed. <em>I hope nothing weird happens in the next few days,</em> he thought to himself.</p><p>“Who was that on the phone, Iwa?” Kunimi looked into Iwaizumi’s direction.</p><p>“It was Kageyama, him and Hinata wanted to come visit him next week.”</p><p>“Kageyama wants to come visit Oikawa? Didn’t expect that,” Kindaichi chuckled.</p><p>“It was mainly Hinata who wanted to come, and Kageyama being the overprotective boyfriend he is wouldn’t let him come alone.”</p><p>“You have a point there.” They stayed silent for a while until Oikawa made the hand gesture again, which meant he wanted the notepad to write something. Iwaizumi gave it to him, and he quickly wrote a sentence.</p><p>
  <em>How’s the team doing? </em>
</p><p>“They aren’t performing quite well, now that you’re not there and Iwaizumi is here with you 90% of the time. It really sucks that you aren’t able to play anymore, Oikawa,” Kindaichi answered his question.</p><p>
  <em>If it’s possible, can I come watch a practice match sometime? </em>
</p><p>Kunimi nodded in response. “Sure, but first you’ll have to be able to leave your hospital bed. It’s the middle of winter, so you’re also very vulnerable for catching a cold.” He looked on his watch. “Kindaichi, we should get going, it’s almost dinner time for me.” “Yeah, same. We’re going back home, Iwa. See you tomorrow I guess?” “Yeah, see you.”</p><p>When Kindaichi and Kunimi left, Iwaizumi walked up to Oikawa’s bed. “Want to listen to some music again? I got some more good songs.”</p><p>Oikawa nodded and tapped his hand on the empty side of the bed. “Want me to come lay next to you again?” He nodded again. “Sure.” Iwaizumi crawled carefully next to Oikawa on the bed, and Oikawa immediately cuddled up to him. A weak chuckle left Iwaizumi’s mouth.</p><p>“Are you comfortable?”</p><p>Oikawa looked up and nodded. “Good. Here, take an earbud.” Iwaizumi looked up his playlist, and put it on shuffle. “Ha, what a coincidence,” he said grinning, when “As The World Caves In” started playing. He looked down and saw Oikawa writing something on the notepad again.</p><p>
  <em>You really love this song, don’t you? </em>
</p><p>“Well, of course, it reminds me of you.”</p><p>Oikawa’s cheeks flushed a warm colour of pink and a weak smile appeared on his face. Iwaizumi kissed his forehead, which made him fluster even more, and eventually caused him to look away, embarrassed.</p><p>“Don’t be embarrassed, Tooru~… I’m your boyfriend after all, right?” Iwaizumi said teasingly.</p><p>These words made Oikawa look back at him. He grabbed his notepad from the nightstand and clicked his pen, as if he was trying to figure out what to respond.</p><p>
  <em>Are you really okay with calling me your boyfriend? I mean it’s fine by me, it’s just that I don’t want you to get hurt when I… you know…</em>
</p><p>“If I wasn’t comfortable with it, I wouldn’t do it, would I?”</p><p>Oikawa smiled.</p><p>
  <em>You have a point there.</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s chin.</p><p>“Should I ask you officially then?”</p><p>Oikawa chuckled lightly.</p><p>“Oikawa Tooru, will you be my boyfriend?”</p><p>He nodded and pressed his forehead against Iwaizumi’s. They stared into each other’s eyes, while the music kept playing.</p><p>
  <em>…Oh it’s you… </em>
</p><p>Their faces became closer as they looked each other deeper into the eyes.</p><p>
  <em>…I watch TV with… </em>
</p><p>The music kept playing as their lips met each other.</p><p>
  <em>…as the world… </em>
</p><p>They turned around a bit and now Iwaizumi lay on top of Oikawa, deepening the kiss.</p><p>
  <em>…caves… </em>
</p><p>They pulled away.</p><p>
  <em>…in…</em>
</p><p>Both breathing heavily, they both lay down again. “That felt… lovely… Tooru…” Iwaizumi said, almost breathless. He turned a quarter turn, and now he was lying on his side, facing Oikawa. He saw Oikawa wanted to say something, even though he couldn’t. But Iwaizumi could read it in his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>I love you. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>The next morning, Iwaizumi woke up, confused. He looked beside him and saw Oikawa, still asleep. And then he remembered everything from the night before. A smile appeared on his face. </p><p>He could finally call Oikawa his boyfriend.</p><p>He stood up from the bed, and heard something from behind. He looked over his shoulder, to see that Oikawa had woke up as well.</p><p>“Good morning, Tooru.”</p><p>Oikawa smiled and nodded in response, as if he was saying ‘good morning’ back. Smiling as well, Iwaizumi walked in the direction of the door. “Want me to go get you breakfast?” Oikawa nodded again. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”</p><p>After some time, Iwaizumi returned with a plate, filled enough for two persons to eat from. “There you go, breakfast in bed, for two.”</p><p>Oikawa’s eyes lit up. Just as they always did when he was excited.</p><p>He looked back at him, and nodded. Iwaizumi assumed this was his way of saying ‘thank you’. “You’re welcome. Should I come and sit beside you again?” The wide smile on Oikawa’s face said enough, and he crawled up next to him on the hospital bed.</p><p>“I enjoy keeping you company. We should have more mornings like these.”</p><p>Oikawa nodded in agreement, while he picked up a croissant from the plate, and Iwaizumi did the same.</p><p>They sat like this together for the next 30 minutes, just eating and enjoying each other’s company. It was quiet, but Iwaizumi found it peaceful. He didn’t mind as long as he could keep Oikawa company. Iwaizumi felt something tapping against his shoulder. He looked up and saw Oikawa looking at him, like he needed something.</p><p>“Notepad?”</p><p>He nodded. Iwaizumi reached his hand to the nightstand to grab Oikawa’s notepad and a pencil. Oikawa started scribbling something on the paper. It took longer than usual, so Iwaizumi looked over to Oikawa’s side.</p><p>It looked like he was drawing something.</p><p>“What are you drawing?”</p><p>Oikawa didn’t look up and continued drawing. Iwaizumi figured he wanted to keep it as some sort of surprise.</p><p>10 minutes later, Oikawa tapped Iwaizumi on his shoulder again, and he looked besides him, curious. He was startled by what he saw.</p><p>Oikawa drew them together, laying in a field while holding hands, staring at the sky and looking at the stars. Iwaizumi’s face burned up.</p><p>
  <em>“I didn’t know you could draw, Tooru. Let alone this good.” </em>
</p><p>Oikawa smiled brightly, it was the most honest and sweet smile Iwaizumi had ever seen.</p><p><em>Thank you, Haji</em>, he wrote on the paper, next to the drawing.</p><p>Haji. He never called him that before.</p><p>“Why did you suddenly call me Haji?”</p><p>
  <em>Because you always call me by my first name, too. And Haji sounds nice. It fits you. </em>
</p><p>It fits you… Maybe it does fit me, Iwaizumi thought to himself. He snuggled up next to Oikawa. He was tired for some reason, and he could see Oikawa was, too. Soon enough, they both fell asleep again, laying besides eachother.</p><p>---</p><p>A high pitched, loud sound woke Iwaizumi up.</p><p>He couldn’t figure out what it was.</p><p>Not until he looked over his shoulder at the heart monitor.</p><p>
  <em>It was a straight, green line. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>No…</p><p>This can’t be true…</p><p> </p><p>Iwaizumi pressed his hand against Oikawa’s chest.</p><p>
  <em>No pulse. </em>
</p><p>He pressed his thumb against Oikawa’s wrist.</p><p>
  <em>No pulse either. </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi jumped out of the hospital bed and sprinted to the door, which he swung open aggressively.</p><p>
  <em>“DOCTOR!!! I NEED A DOCTOR!!! PLEASE HELP…!!!” </em>
</p><p>Where’s a doctor when you need one?! He looked around, panicking. He ran around the hallways, breathing heavily. He was out of breath from running around, but he didn’t care. He needed a doctor. Now. Maybe they could still save Oikawa. He was so deep in thought he almost ran past a doctor.</p><p>“Sir!! Please follow me, my boyfriends heart has stopped working…”</p><p>The doctor looked at him, surprised. “Which room?” “Room 153, the name’s Oikawa Tooru. He has a rare heart disease…” The doctor followed Iwaizumi to Oikawa’s room, while calling some of his colleagues to help him.</p><p>As soon as they arrived at the room, the doctor swung open the door and started checking some things, before trying to reanimate Oikawa.</p><p>3 other men in white doctor’s coats entered the room after a few minutes. They all started running around and saying things Iwaizumi didn’t understand.</p><p>He only understood one sentence, which he probably didn’t want to hear.</p><p>
  <em>He’s gone. </em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi started feeling lightheaded and became dizzy. Then everything went black.</p><p>---</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>Iwaizumi woke up in Oikawa’s hospital room, which seemed strangely empty. He looked around. Then he noticed.</p><p>
  <em>Oikawa’s bed was empty. </em>
</p><p>He abruptly stood up, only to be pushed back in the chair by the same doctor he asked for help for before.</p><p>“Where-“</p><p>“He is gone. He died while you two were sleeping. I’m really sorry.”</p><p>Iwaizumi stared into the distance. He didn’t know what to say or think. He didn’t feel any emotions. He just stared. Not believing what he just heard.</p><p>“I understand it’s hard to believe, and probably something you don’t want to believe. I’ll leave you alone for a little to process everything.”</p><p>When the doctor left, he stood up and grabbed his head, angrily.</p><p><em>“Why?! Why you?!”</em> he yelled. He didn’t care if people could hear him.</p><p>“What have you done to deserve this?! What have I done to deserve this suffering?! It’s not fucking fair!”</p><p>He fell back into the chair and threw his head in his neck, and then finally, the tears started flowing.</p><p>“F-Fuck…” he whispered, sobbing.</p><p>He reached in his pocket to get his phone, only to find a single, folded piece of paper. Curious, he unfolded it.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, Haji. </em>
</p><p>He stared at the drawing of him and Oikawa. He looked at the clock, seeing it was past midnight. He stood up, and walked towards the window.</p><p>He looked up, to the stars, and smiled weakly.</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll watch the starts every night, Tooru, hoping I’ll see a flinch of you someday. I know you’ll watch over me, and you’ll always do.” </em>
</p><p>He went silent for a second, and looked down.</p><p>
  <em>“We’ll meet again, when the world caves in.” </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>A month passed since Oikawa’s death. Iwaizumi visited him every day, though he didn’t attend his funeral. He didn’t want people dressed in all black who probably didn’t even care about him to be his last memory about Oikawa.</p><p>School ended, and there was no practice today, so Iwaizumi made his way to the graveyard for the umpteenth time this week. It was a 30 minute bike ride, coming across a bridge and many small suburbs. Iwaizumi didn’t mind the ride. As long as he could keep visiting Oikawa, it made him a little happier.</p><p>When he arrived at the place in question, he threw his bike next to some bushes and ran through the entrance. He knew the way so well at a certain point, he could reach Oikawa’s grave with his eyes closed if he had to.</p><p>When he arrived, he crouched down and took the drawing out of his pocket. He always kept it with him, no matter where or when.</p><p>
  <em>“Hey…” </em>
</p><p>He didn’t expect an answer. This was just his way of communicating with him.</p><p>
  <em>“I hope you’re doing okay above there…” </em>
</p><p>He sighed, and a light chuckle escaped his mouth.</p><p>
  <em>“See you soon, Tooru…” </em>
</p><p>He unfolded the small piece of paper, and placed it on the stone. He put one of the small stone figurines on it, so it wouldn’t be blown away by the wind. Then he grabbed his headphones, and started walking back to his bike.</p><p>When he passed the bridge, he slowed down, and eventually stopped. He put down his bike and got off, and he walked towards the edge, ‘As The World Caves In’ playing through his headphones. He climbed over the railing, and held onto it.</p><p>“I promised you something, Tooru.”</p><p>He stared down, while holding onto the railing.</p><p>“We’ll meet again, when the world caves in…”</p><p>He hummed the text quietly.</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, it’s you…” </em>
</p><p>He closed his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>“…that I lie with…” </em>
</p><p>Memories stared coming back, and Iwaizumi felt tears running down his face.</p><p>
  <em>“…as the atom bomb locks in…”</em>
</p><p>He let go with one hand to wipe his tears.</p><p>
  <em>“…Yes it’s you…”</em>
</p><p>He smiled, while looking up one last time.</p><p>
  <em>“…I welcome death with…” </em>
</p><p>Then, he let go. He barely felt himself falling down.</p><p>
  <em>As the world… </em>
</p><p>The fall was long. Long enough to hear the last sentence of his favourite song.</p><p>
  <em>…as the world caves in…</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it:)<br/>If you liked this, feel free to leave kudos or bookmarks &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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